Moms know two timelines: BK and AK — “before kids” and “after kids.” Once the children come, mothers often have fuzzy recollections of the things they did or loved before the kids. With the kids occupying your schedule and priorities, it’s easy to forget your passions. When you do remember them, you might fall victim to “mom guilt,” aka when you think taking some “me time” is against the Mom Code.
But your passions keep you alive as a person and as a parent. Whether it’s a forgotten love for making scones, climbing mountains or pursuing fitness and career goals by earning CEC points for personal trainers, it’s critical to pursue your BK passions AK.
Your “mom guilt” may be creeping in, but think of it this way: you’re not “indulging” a passion. Instead, you’re lighting a personal spark that will also benefit your family. If you completely ignore your passions, you will eventually feel dull or depressed. You’ll feel worn out because you haven’t done anything that excites you.
Do you need help to figure out the activities or hobbies that may bring back your spark?
Consider the following techniques or tips.
Think About What You Loved To-Do as a Child
Did you enjoy baking cookies in your EasyBake oven? It’s not too late to bake cookies again — but with an adult oven. Why not expand your selection of baked goods beyond cookies? Bake bread and cake while you’re at it.
Did you enjoy sledding down the steep hill nearby? Try another activity known for thrills and speed that will bring back the thrilling feeling of sledding. Why not consider snowboarding or downhill skiing? If you enjoyed climbing trees as a kid, you can join an indoor rock climbing gym.
Get In Touch With Your Inner Self
Most of the time, life’s answers are inside of you but you’re too busy running around to take care of the family that you forget to listen to your inner voice. Give yourself time by spending 10 minutes each morning alone. Find a quiet space, sit in silence and focus in slow and deep breathing. While in this relaxed state, ask yourself what you’d love to do.
Consider What You Love to Do When You’re with the Kids
It’s natural for moms to go and do things that their kids want to do. After all, there’s nothing better than seeing your kids enjoying their favorite activities. But when you do stuff with the kids, pay attention to the activities you do with them that you actually like.
For instance, do you enjoy doing puzzles with the kids? Buy bigger versions of these puzzles that you can do yourself (with some relaxing music and a cup of tea) before your bed.
Go to Your Favorite Place — Even If Your Kids Aren’t Big Fans
Parents often think about their children when it comes to answering “Where should we go this weekend?” But think about this: if you didn’t have kids, where would you want to spend the weekend. Consider going there and taking the kids with you, even if they don’t want to. They’ll complain at first but when they see the beauty of the place, they’ll eventually enjoy their time with you.
Think About What You Want to Create
Creating something artistic — whether it’s photography, painting, music, dance, or food — is a passion. While all passions make us feel positive, artistic creations give us a sense of fulfillment. What project would you work for if you had the time? Start by doing a small version of that project. Give yourself time to create. You don’t have to make Bob Ross paintings, but you can start a small artwork project that fits your schedule.
How Can You Find Balance Between Your Passion and Kids
To be honest, it’s not easy to strike a balance between your kids and yours. In most cases, you might never find the balance. Still, you need to compromise, aka squeezing your hobbies for an hour or two.
A rule of thumb is you have to accept your limitations. You can’t do anything about these except accept them and move forward. Start by confronting the painful truths to find the confidence and courage you seek. The truth is: as a mom, finding the balance is nearly impossible but you have to take the time to pause and re-evaluate how you’re living your life right now.
Remember: you may be a mom but you’re still an individual. The key to becoming a better parent is becoming a better person. To become a better person, you must give yourself time to recover, rest and relax.